It's the most amazing thing I've done!

The role of a Mother is one that is hard, but so very rewarding
I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

Even though my mum doesn't have a blog & doesn't even read mine, I'd like to express my admiration and sincere love to her. She's been my mum, best friend, teacher, shoulder to cry on, she's made me laugh, helped me become a well balanced person, she has many talents like cooking, baking, helping with homework, sewing costumes & normal clothes. She's been a taxi, she's been a referee when my siblings and I used to fight. Above all, she's held this family together, since my late father & her divorced when I was 9, she picked up the pieces, she worked hard to support us all & she became like a lioness towards us. Always looking out for us, especially in all of our times of need.

Since I have become a mother, I understand her so much more than I ever thought. My sister has eye sight problems, and my brother can sometimes be mentally unstable, but my mum continues to look after us, and continues to do her regular job too. Although we're 31,29 & 22 mum still asks us if we need anything & often has us round the house - be it helping her tidy, or just for company - we love her Sunday dinner, it became a serious tradition. I had no idea of the stress and unseen stress being a parent can have on you. When I look at my 3 month old I can't imagine her in pain or unwell or have a condition we couldn't 'fix'. I don't know how I would cope, that being said, I have no idea how my mum has coped - but I guess you must cope, because if mums fall apart the whole family does too.

Being a mum makes us strong, it doesn't even matter how you got this role, naturally or not, c-section or not, ivf or having lost babies. While we are sympathetic to others feelings and we take on too many 'jobs' it is completely necessary to also pull our shit together and be brave, to take control and sort things out ourselves. We didn't grow a baby for 9 months and decide we don't care or that we feel we need validation, we just can't believe we're the one a baby, toddler & child look up to.

I wish I could grow old to be as amazing as my mum. When Quinn is finally my age & she'll say a similar thing to me - my mum is completely perfect, to me! She's mine, I feel so blessed.

I owe everything to my mum, out of us 3 kids, I am the most like her. I hope she knows that is a compliment. She never pushed me too far or held me down, she let me make my own choices, she'd hold me hand all the way if I needed & she was incredible about my news of becoming a mother. I was worried, but  I didn't really understand why I was so worried to tell her, she wouldn't have told me off or told me to sort my life out, she simply wanted my happiness to be real.

Until you become a mother you never knew how many things you took for granted like;

• free time,
•  headache free, 
• clean clothes, 
• clean house, 
• soft moisturized hands & skin, 
• going to the hair dressers without needing someone to babysit, 
• the get-up-and-go ease of everyday life, 
• socializing and talking about interests instead of baby or kids stuff, 
• time with pets, 
• lie-ins,
• going to the cinema 
• using distractions like TV to stop a inconsolable crying child
• & a shower that is longer than 10 minutes ...

The list isn't endless.. That's it.

There's so many good parts about being a mum though...

• Having a mini me, 
• Having endless kisses & cuddles, 
• Teaching the children important life skills, 
• Reading and singing to them before bed, 
• Getting soaked while giving them a bath, 
• experimenting with different foods,
•  Figuring out what nappies are best - trial and error - you have to lighten up and enjoy the experience.. 
• Smiling so much your cheeks hurt because your baby held your finger or smiled in her sleep. 
• Crying because your child is yours, and s/he is beautiful
• Imagining your child in the future - the possibilities are endless
• Passing down your books & toys from your childhood
• Cuddling them to sleep
• The moment the house is quiet after a heavy day
• Waking up to a babbling baby
• Watching your baby do something for the 1st time
• Watching your baby hit some serious milestones
• Christmas & birthdays - they are SO much better when your little one understand the concept!
• Baby & toddler classes - everyone is there to learn & make friends
• When baby finally does a poo - Yes really!!
• When baby finishes all her milk/food - such an achievement!
• When baby smiles/giggles for the 1st time (I fall hopelessly in love every time when my baby smiles)

There is so many more good reasons, but I'm not going to bore you all to death!

I would like to hope my little girl grows up to be balanced, caring, funny & adventurous. As well as outgoing and daring, a motivator and grows up to be able to feel like she can rise to a challenge! There's a lot of traits I don't want to have of mine ; time waster, procrastinator, light headed (sometimes) & a slow learner. She definitely needs her some of her Dads traits to get far in life; motivation, daring/adventurous & outgoing.

Point is, no matter your upbringing, it's the mothers love & dedication that stands the test of time. I would do anything to be able to see into the future to see Quinn & I have the same bond that my mum, sister & I have - my brother's love and friendship is different to theirs for many reasons but love is love!
I can't possibly imagine what it would be like if I lived a different life, in a poorer household or in a war stricken country - the women and kids are fighting to keep alive and the men & boys are fighting to keep the peace - whatever their concept of peace is. I really hope that one day we'll look back on all these recent wars and think of all the lives lost - suicidal, intentional, in vain or not. Many are/were innocent people and only a few were leading their people into a bloody battle. I often think about the mothers, when you see them on TV going to a refuge camp in the neighbouring country and the women are crying. They've lost their home, but nothing is as painful as seeing your family killed. My heart breaks for them - so even though we've got "the good life" please spare a thought to others at this time. Even if you know someone who's lose their loved one to illnesses or losses of any kind, keep praying for them as well.

Mother's day might be a public holiday - but you don't need a holiday to tell someone you love them - it should be an all day, everyday experience! Share the love!

#tbt pregnant during the summer 2015!

 

Rory the Ragdoll helped with the pregnancy announcement!

Our 1st Family photo's

Daddy kisses

Rainbow baby!

I love my Quinny!

Thanks for reading this blog post! Hope you all have a blessed mother's day!
~Ellie xoxox

I've been a mother for 2 months... Where's the time gone?!

Motherhood, 2 months on...

Sleepless nights, nappies & a lot of crying!

Welcome to motherhood; where the sleep is less, the crying is more & the nappies and wipes turn into a mountain. When a person says 'oh congratulations, it's amazing being a parent' they are slightly glazing over it. They're trying not to scare you. You can also get the few that say 'oh, well your time will be limited, sleep when baby sleeps' or 'oh mine was a nightmare at night, but s/he's so worth it'...Utter bullshit.I'm calling them out on it - because it's all a false portrayal of parenthood. 

It's damn near impossible to sleep when the baby sleeps, mainly because you want to have half hour of quiet time to actually be able to think or even grab a bite to eat. Personally I get my cleaning done when Quinn is asleep, she loves the sounds of a hoover so that's a bonus - it keeps her quiet. 

While yes the child was a nightmare, they often say it's worth it because by that point they grow out of their silly routines and you get to see them as an independent person rather than a baby who needs you all the time. I have no doubts that Quinn will be worth the sleepless nights, but experiencing it all for myself is a whole other situation. Those people will always say the good over the bad - it's a typical human thing to do, but why always sugar coat it!?

Quinn loves noise and lights and to be held before she sleeps. It's so beyond annoying. She did at one point sleep properly & had naps, but that went straight out the window by Christmas time. She was constantly held by others so when it came to nighttime - that's all she wanted. 

When it was just me and her for the 1st couple of days when Kurt went back to work - we had our neat routine and it worked out fine, soon as others come along and they held her, they would pass her to me when she was crying and say 'oh you don't want to constantly pick her up when she cries'.. That's the thing, as long as I checked on her and made sure she was comfy, clothed, changed and fed I would leave her be and she slept fine. It's when they wanted to hold her while still asleep the problem started. As cute as she is - you just gotta leave her be - it puts a burden on me to deal with her when she won't go down on her own anymore! 

She would sleep for a 20 min nap when she was pretty bad - while being held. As soon as you went to lay her on her back in her Moses basket she would scream and cry! 

10 mins maximum to cry it out unless something was wrong. The protocol is check her temperature - covers on or off or be swaddled tighter, check her nappy, see if she needs a feed & if she wants to be held.

I would never wish upon a parent to have a baby with colic, I heard that's bad news, for both of you & often mothers and babies need intervention on ways to help calm them down - god forbid if you left the mother with a screaming child for hours on end - eventually they'll snap and the worry of shaken baby syndrome becomes apparent. If that were ever to happen - the anger, I mean, remember to check on the child if they need anything, if they are just crying and cannot be consoled at all, and it's stressing you out there's only a select few ways to deal with it yourself; 

• Take the baby for a drive or walk - the fresh air is good for you both. 
• Try a bath - if that has worked in the past.
• Close the door, make sure baby is safe & go have a quiet time to yourself - even if it's half an hour. 

The refresh of your mind will make it easier to deal with the situation at hand. 

Even though Quinn is 2 months old, we've found that lights, and noise - white noise or music helps, she loves and finds it comforting to be in her pram for a walk for an hour or 2 & she didn't like being bathed until she was 6 weeks old, she did enjoy having a clean nappy and being in clean clothes, after that we swaddle her and rock her to sleep or offer her my breast - most of the time she will "dreamfeed" (to fall asleep or feed while asleep)

As for the nappies - Pampers seems to be the best so far & thankfully she doesn't have particularly sensitive skin like I do, so any wipes are fine on her. We've noticed that since sometimes she'll want to be bottle fed with ready-made milk her poop is so different from the times she's been solely breastfed - that's normal. Smelly and sometimes so gross, but that's okay. Just have to make sure she's not in pain or discomfort and that the texture isn't lumpy - that would mean a check on google and if it's not right then it's a phone call to the health visitor/doctor.

We've enjoyed watching her grow and change. Her personality and and features are also changing - day by day. You don't always get the parenting thing down 100% correct. I'm sure no matter how many kids you have, you don't always do what is best or even what others do - but that's okay. You can't have an amazing child or be the best at caring for a child, it's never easy & sometimes people glorify things way too much. 

Be honest, how many times have you gone into the bathroom to cry, or needed 10 minutes down time? or really needed someone else to hold your child because you've had enough.

If you know someone who's about to have a baby or recently had a baby - remember not to make it sound too good - tell them the bad bits too and don't hesitate to offer advice, and not just the stuff everyone tells you, tell them the tips you've found out on your own - the new parent will surely appreciate the rough and ready approach! I know I would have!

Quinn did well at her 8week check up & immunizations. 1 in each leg & 1 oral vaccine - she did NOT like any of those. I'm so glad my mum came with me, I didn't know really what to expect or how long it would take or even how to hold her while she was being checked. It's kinda annoying how people don't want to talk details about this stuff... For us, it was a 20 minute session. A health adviser/pediatrician asked routine questions; place of birth, date of birth, how I delivered she then checked baby's weight and length. Asked me about the birth, how it went and she also asked how I was feeding and then told me to go into the DR's room to have the injections in. The DR asked me about any illnesses in the family, checked her head, hips and limbs for anything. My mum held Quinn up to her chest & slightly over her shoulder & was asked to pull Quinn's leg tight for each injection - Poor baby didn't want to be restrained! While this was going on another woman with her baby had the same questions asked in the same room we were in, in the beginning, they tend to do more than one baby at a time to be efficient because they have up to 8 babies in a day to vaccinate and there's usually only 1 day they do this on. After the injections were administered I went off into a quiet room and fed Quinn - with all the crying and being naked and man-handled she really wanted to comfort feed. Once I finished feeding her, she had a new clean nappy on and we left the DR's with a prescription for infant Calpol. Babies can get irritable, or very sleepy and have a slight temperature so Calpol is prescribed to lessen the effects of the injections - as babis can't tell you what's wrong you need to be extra tentative to their needs, they may be more clingy and upset than usual or may need feeding a little more if breast feeding.

Quinn didn't like the Calpol in her mouth, she didn't like the taste or texture! She ended up comforting and cuddling me for the rest of the day after the DR's visit and had plenty of naps. She didn't want to go too far away from me and she was especially restless at night, for 3 nights on the trot. I was a very tired mummy! Luckily, my sister and mum came over on alternate days to keep me company & hold her when I needed a break, a shower and catch up on my much needed sleep!
How did your children fair at the vaccination visit? Any tips for other mothers?

Next thing to conquer as a parent, time keeping skills and a routine! It's put me out so badly with getting things done since having my baby, I also have developed the infamous 'baby brain' - I can't remember what I was doing until I've started doing something else or end up forgetting what people have said to me! Much to my family's amusement!

Thanks for reading this extremely long blog post - I'll try not to leave it so long next time before I post again! But... When do I really have the spare time?!
~Ellie xoxox