You guys have no idea how much I love being a mum...
Quinn C Noelle is now officially 6 months old. So much has changed.. I've changed.
Everything I've learned and everything I've experienced has no value - it's priceless. The hours spent rocking that baby, and the moments I've captured with or without a camera is also priceless. The first time she crawled and the first time she slept all night were the best. No contest there's nothing on this planet that I'd rather do, there's never been a moment in my life where I thought 'Right this is it, I wanna do *blank*'.. But being a parent has literally been a joy, a dream come true, It's been the best thing ever.
Okay, I know enough gushing...
Quinn is now 15lbs after taking her time putting on weight. I'm so proud and glad. I was worried that she was still too small, as her clothes weren't fitting but, not all babies are the same, they put on weight differently and that the sizes on the labels are just guidelines. My milk supply finished at 3.5 months and I do miss it now & again, there's still no real routine though with a bottle, but it's been the best decision for my baby at the end of the day. We're now reaching the weaning stage. Quinn LOVES rice pudding. We're yet to try other foods as we've only been doing this for 2 days. It's an adventure, one that I was scared of, but once conquered then of course it won't be scary.
We've recently bought a new car so big girl can go in a new big girl car seat. Amazing how fast actually things are going. It's a huge milestone. But I can't wait to be able to see her facing us and be able to see her play, or take family selfies or even be able to tend to her needs without getting in the back and sitting with her on all the car journey's!
Quinn is now officially too big for her Moses basket, I will miss her sleeping next to me & waking up to her smiling but I will not miss the early morning wake ups, 4am's and the restless baby. Enter the vintage cot and baby monitor - we are yet to move her, but everything is now in place. I really wanted my cot from when I was little, it was in my mums attic and was in amazing condition, I wanted it re-painted in Duck Egg Blue. It's nice to know now there's safe paint for kids. We had to sand down the top bar and add food safe wax/varnish - very important as toddlers like to chew! I will add details of everything in another post.
I had such a lump in my throat putting all of her tiny baby clothes away. So many memories, but perhaps if & when Quinn has a brother or sister we'll get to see them again! There is something so sentimental about a onesie or body suit. It's tiny, it kept a baby warm and dry, there were many a time where a poo stain covered them and had a musky baby puke smell on it. I'm kinda lucky I've had such a good upbringing about receiving gifts new or hand-me-downs. Quinn has plenty of things that both Kurt and I have previously owned. I really value items & the best advice I ever got was to "take a photo of the baby in the clothing you got given, hideous or not, the baby doesn't care, but the person giving the gift will mind if it's been put to use & show the person that the baby has worn said item of clothing." I respect that advice, I've taken pictures of Quinn in outfits I'd never personally buy for her but because the gift giver wanted to know how it fitted and for now she doesn't have many toys, but once she's older we can all decide on what kind of toys she likes instead of being inundated with things she'll never need, use or play with. Right now, she loves a red monkey from the brand Nuby - complete with jingly sound and teething rings.
I can't wait to see what else Quinn gets up to. The months leading up to her 1st birthday will be an adventure, I really want to be there for every single moment big and small. It pains me terribly that most parents miss out on their children growing up being they have to work 24/7, there simply isn't enough time and there hasn't been enough relief for parents, they need to earn to provide. I'm lucky, I've had so long off - okay 6 months isn't long, but some women have to go back to so early and it's either that or the mums get no help from others because the others are working hard. Trust me, with Kurt working away half of the time and my mum working odd hours it was hard being by myself as a 1st time mum. I often heared the sentence "Well loads of other mum cope, even when they have 2 or 3 kids".. My response is usually "oh good for them" or "They didn't get it right 1st time round so don't expect me to get it right". Truth is there's no manual to parenting or right or wrong, to be honest most just wing it. Most people want to raise their kids differently to how they got raised, it's funny because when you're trying hard not to be like someone you end up doing the opposite. I feel like there's always 2 outcomes to parenting, you find out a lot about yourself or you let the kid rule your life. I'm the latter right now because Quinn is dependent on me, but I've found that I'm patient and I can get angry but I will always find a solution to the problems, I've learned to open up a bit more and to also be more accepting to my version of 'failure'. If you are the type of parent to let the child lead the way always then there aren't boundaries and there will be more of a chance of having a child that is 'naughty' - whatever the personal level of that is...
Everything in moderation - I think that is an amazing concept in all aspect of life.
Until now, I've never admired younger mums, actually I judged them, now that I am one of some sort I feel like I'm judged, I feel a pressure to be great at something I've never done before, a pressure to get back to my old life & have the same friends as I used to have, but everything moves on and evolves and I'm aware that it's happened to me. I can't praise the young mums enough for going back to work and having a great life if that's getting a degree or getting married or only just finishing school/college. It's hard being a parent and nothing will ever prepare you until you have your 1st. While there are many posts on Facebook about "Oh look another girl from school is pregnant" "Hand up who's in their 20's and DOESN'T have a kid, married or a house".. It's incredibly rude. It's disrespectful because while we're young and that's our life, or how we wanted it to go or whatever, we don't really judge you for not wanting kids yet or at all, or judge you on living at your parents while driving a fancy car and going out every weekend because we understand that is your life and you live how you like. Not every person who had/has a kid early in adulthood has ruined their life, if I'm honest it's made mine better, and just because my job had no career prospects didn't mean I didn't do well. I provided, I paid for things, I LIVED - and still am. You've no idea on my circumstances and I've no idea on yours so from now on I've vowed never to judge. Try it, you might feel just fine, adequate & valued instead of judged and ridiculed and made to feel worthless... Karma - What goes around comes around and all that...
Until now I've never actually enjoyed silence, I like sitting and reading or on my laptop in silence, TV turned down with subtitles on, but once Quinn is asleep and the house is tidy and I feel relaxed I love the quiet, all is right with the world until the sun rises and no matter how annoying Quinn has behaved it's always better the next day. I actually stopped going on my laptop and checking internet in general for a while, I felt it ruled more of my life and I was missing out on seeing Quinn grow, but in reality it's helped me see the simple things in life and enjoy them. The rain or sun, the good quality time with family and the importance of presence. The moments where we've noticed she rolled over completely or how she can sit unaided for 5 minutes and how she does stomach crunches to try and sit up.
I really want to be a good parent, but you can't be taught or told. There's so many good and bad examples of parenting but all I know is that I've grown so much as a person because I've grown my own. And I know you'll be dying to see pictures of Quinn, but here's just a few....
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| My beautiful spring baby |
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| Quinn Sitting like a big girl! |
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| Quinn's so happy!! |
~Ellie xoxo
