10 Things I've learned since being a mother

  10 Things I've learned since becoming a parent

Sure, it's a life change, and you mature and you see things differently, but personally I've found out so many things since having a baby, the simplest of things people take for granted and all the things I NEVER understood until now, or even things I promised I'd never do when I got a kid - Hindsight is a funny thing ain't it!?

1. Sleep - An important function for everyone, so if your baby isn't sleeping - you don't sleep. As a mother you get this crazy inner antenna that pops up and you get a "feeling" that baby is about to wake up so you're on high alert. Or you've been busy pottering around the house going from room to room doing chores (going great guns btw!) - Baby decides to need changing, feeding & an hour play time to then fall asleep in your arm and cries every time you put said child down. And worst case scenario the baby knows when you are tired and plays up. Exhausting.

2. Poop - they've been crying you've tried everything, read everything possible & even asked for mums advice lo and behold, the baby does a poop that you've all been waiting for since that morning. It's a bloody miracle, we're all praising the baby for a normal bodily function. I used to think it was weird but now I totally get it. It hurts them, they need to get rid of it & they are so awesome and happy once it happens. You guys understand right?

 

3. Silence - You've been talking, playing, taking walks, doing chores, trying to sort yourself out after tending to the baby. You manage to take a shower. The baby takes a nap. You finally notice how quiet the house is - it's bliss. You see said baby sleeping, you get broody and consumed by love and whisper 'I love you' to your sleeping baby and end up missing the fuss and noise when they eventually go down!! Weird! You especially miss the baby when someone looks after him/her for you, it's kind of a weird instinct thing, you want to make sure the person looking after her/him is capable - even though it's your mum and obviously she knows what she's doing but you miss the clingyness but hate it at the same time!

4. Date night - In my relationship we didn't really date, before Quinn we just went out whenever, did whatever, hung out or stayed home - it didn't matter. When the partner works away and you've been stuck at home all week with the baby, you get the urge to run off out for the day and leave the baby with Dad, but you know it's not fair so you propose to both look after the baby one night of the weekend, the next night is a date night and then after all that you prepare for the week ahead. It's so important to have a conversation with another human/adult because you can talk to a baby all you want but you crave a conversation and a joke, not to mention sex.. Sex is supposed to help with stress, so making time for each other has its benefits.

 

5. Friends - you suddenly know who the real friends in your life are. I've always been the one to organize, talk, build bridges in all my friendships - it gets so fucking boring. After you have a baby you get a shit-ton of free time from not working, but technically being a mother, you don't get a break, so instead you turn into a stay-at-home/I'll talk to you on Facebook kinda mum & suddenly all the friends you had or were quite close with (who also have lives and other things going on) decide not to message or invite you out because they think you'd turn them down or make an excuse, but what happened to just acknowledging each other properly? The ones who do ask, invite and offer their help are the ones to obviously keep. Your inner circle becomes smaller and eventually your phone book has only numbers of family and fellow mothers from play group. How times have changed. Your BFF is now just an acquaintance and you have to make a decision - bother with them or be a grown up. I chose the latter. I made friends with my sisters friends (who all have kids now) & I meet up with close friends every 3 months-ish as we've got different schedules. Whatever works...

6. Pause, play, rewind -  Baby needs something, or your dinner is ready, or whatever it is; The mega amazing plus of modern technology. Whatever you have be it a console, smart TV or sky box - it sure is a luxury to be able to catch up on box sets and movies whenever with the convince of your sofa. No more disturbed people at the cinema or missing out on important parts on a DVD or TV series. Never taking that for granted again.

 

7. To pacify or not to pacify? - Some mothers swear against them, some let them have them sometimes and others swear by them . Totally optional. Before having a baby I thought 'why on earth would parents let their kid get attached to an object like that' and does it even help? I'd seen many an episode of 'Super Nanny' way before getting pregnant about kids who won't give them up. It can also work with TVs and consoles, laptops, anything really. You'd be so stupid - naive even, to think you'd never let your kid near that stuff. Truth is, there is nothing you can do about it. The pacifier/dummy/binky/paci/whatever you call it, is better for them in the long run than their thumb - trip to the dentist anyone?! But whatever helps right? So right! It wasn't until I couldn't cuddle or rock Quinn to sleep all the time did I let her have a dummy, and she took it, for 2 months, worth it at the time sure, but I didn't want it to happen but, it helped - a lot! Same with the TV, I put her in her bouncer for a bit while I did laundry, I put the music channel on & waddya know - baby loves music... Kinda didn't want to use it to help me get things done- Ahh hindsight, the naivety of it all.

8. Hot food, drinks - anything - No time to help yourself now that there is a baby about. They scream, cry and fuss until your full attention is on them. It's part of the life now, but it's so sad to think I took a hot meal or hot drink for granted and to be able to finish them while they are still warm. The amount of times I ate my dinners cold or couldn't even finished an amazing cup of tea is just astonishing. No-one warned me about this. Sure there's microwaves, but seriously who cares, have it as it is - you'll survive.

9. Me time - This to many is; A drive out, spa day, casual walk or even a long bath. Say hello to shopping, hoovering and napping 15 minutes - these now replace the old "me time" luxuries. But it's okay because you eventually grow to love the shopping trip 2 times a week just to get out of the house and the hoovering to drown out the noise of that one toy that gives everyone a headache.

 

10. The most amazing gift of all, Life - Words cannot describe how much joy I feel to see Quinn playing, giggling, laughing, sleeping, sneezing.. (so cute!) The way she wriggles about in my arms, the bum shuffle to get closer to an object, the mini happy screams at the cat because she's only just noticed him (bff's for sure!) How I've grown to love my mother in a new way, how I appreciate my brother and sister helping out and the compliments I get when we are out ("I didn't know there was a baby here, she's so good/quiet/cute/precious - you must be proud") I've never been one for attention, but my heart truly bursts when someone says nice things, like hell yes - Deborah, I've raised a good'un here!

My beautiful Quinn (December 2015)

How has parenting changed you? Love being a mum? What's the good AND bad things you've experienced - Let me know below
~Ellie xoxox