What it's really like to be a parent...

2WEEKS POSTPARTUM

You can count on leaky nipples, washing your hand multiple times in an hour and staying in your pjs!

There is nothing quite like being a parent. You'd think you know what it feels like if you have a pet, you think that they can be fed on schedule and given the right amount of attention... WRONG!
Babies are very dependent and needy and will most certainly let you know that something isn't right albeit they can't actually tell you - you have to be a mind reader or go through a mental list; hungry? tired? need changing? need a cuddle? uncomfortable?

I had it in my mind from the beginning that babies need a lot of attention and cuddles and will often need feeding on demand and will cry a lot, but when you experience it first hand yourself, there's no other way to deal with it other than panic a bit then sort the baby out, often that means completely ignoring yourself and your needs to attend to the needs of the child. Dinner has gone cold or eating 1 handed has led to peas and carrots on the sofa and showering isn't a daily thing anymore, it's more of when baby is quiet and asleep so you can trust nothing will happen in the next half hour or only being able to shower at 5pm at night only to be puked on again and having to change your top for the second time in an hour. 

As far as how I'm feeling - it's been a journey I never thought much about until now.. Because Quinn was born early - little lady didn't want to wait for her due date - which are approximate anyway, I didn't really have time to get into the mind set 100% that I was having a baby! Everyone talks about how 1st born's are late and all that so I assumed (silly me) that she would be the same, so when I was having contractions for real, I didn't believe it until we went to the hospital *see previous post for details*

I was 37 weeks and 6 days pregnant when she was ready to be born - I still wanted to do things around the house and I wanted to get my Christmas shopping done so I could relax when she was born - that didn't happen and if I'm completely honest, I felt like I ran out of time to get prepared so when she was born I felt so out of my comfort zone because I didn't around to do the things on my mental to-do list. It's not just me who has felt like this, I'm sure plenty of mums all over the world have felt like they didn't get everything done in time.

It took me 3 days to fully adjust and fall in love her. I'm really not alone with this either. My body had gone through so much but my head wasn't 100% with it. I had gone through an 8 hour labour and delivery, with only gas and air for the last hour, I was resting in hospital for 1 night and only had 2 hours sleep while there, the midwives were checking on us, and made sure I knew how to feed her. Kurt went home to sleep and so I felt a little lonely and very alert to all the noises in the hospital and all the noises Quinn made! Kurt had been doing his super dad bit and was holding her, changing her and cuddling her while I rested in hospital after the birth, which meant I didn't really get a look in on my own baby! When we got home Kurt continued to do most of the work, which meant I felt like I only fed her and that's it! I didn't get an instant bond with her! She's still a Daddy's girl, even now! 

I did feel a lot of anger towards Kurt (blame the hormones).. He did ask me how I was as he noticed I wouldn't really go near her on my own and wanted to continue to clean instead of rest! I confided in him with tears running down my face; "I need to do this stuff myself, I need to be a mum but you're taking over". His reply was a hug and him saying that he wanted to take care of us all and let me rest and I've had her for 9 months now it was his turn to be there for her. 

Does that make me selfish or does that make him sound like a saint? 

I fully understood his reasons but how was I meant to get to know her and bond with her if all I was to her was a source of food? We even had a few problems with that too, which resulted in Kurt insisting we bottle feed her and he bought SMA milk for newborns - the premade stuff to tide her over, which made me feel even worse about myself - I knew she needed to be fed but the more pressure I had from everyone including Kurt, I felt like I couldn't perform...
By the 3rd day we got over all of that and Quinn fed properly and for a long time, the sense of relief and an immediate bond literally grew over night! I definitely know I'm not alone with this feeling too!

Mummy stats;

• Pre-pregnancy weight: 8st 2lbs
• Pregnancy (at the very end) weight: 9st 12lbs
• Day 1 after birth weight: 9st 7lbs
• Day 5 after birth weight: 8st 10lbs
• Day 10 after birth weight: 8st 5lbs

Bearing in mind I was ALL baby, you couldn't tell I was even pregnant!

Baby stats;

• Birth weight; 7lbs 7oz
• Born; 9:16am 28/11/15
• Music playing when she was born: Top loader - Dancing in the moonlight (on the radio)
• Delivery: SVD (standard vaginal delivery)
• Weight 4 days after birth: 6lbs 13oz
• Activity: Very expressive, can follow with eyes slowly, loves music and noise 
• Weight 1 week after birth: 6lbs 15oz
• Sleep: 3 hours approx
• Feeding: On demand - 10/15mins each breast
• Schedule: Nope!
• Weight 10 days after birth: 7lbs
• Length 10 days after birth: 50cms

Must haves and tips;

• Tops with easy pull off arms, like vests!
• Maternity bras or sports tops
• Hoodies with zips - so you can keep warm while still feeding
• Breast pads... Leaky boobs aren't nice!
• A manual breast pump is a very good idea, other people can feed baby (Kurt loves to be involved)
• You DON'T need fancy sterilizing equipment - just sterilizing tablets and hot water is fine!
• Keep the rooms in your house around 18/19 degrees.. Not too hot, not too cold!
• A nappy disposal bin is one of the best purchases! Less hassle & trips to the bin & no smell!
• Keep antibacterial hand soap in the bathroom, you'll be touching baby & dirty nappies & then touching doors and other items - Don't be afraid to buy soap that have moisturizing properties too, hands get chapped!
• Let family help out, it seems silly to say, but we can feel like we need to keep the place tidy & do the washing, let them take a load off - literally!
• There's nothing easier than pre-made food! Just make sure it's NOT take away! Shop bought lasagne and chicken ready to go in the oven is better for you than greasy food!
• Keep taking the pregnancy vitamins- they've still got a lot of power to help boost your mood and vitality after baby!
• Its OKAY to still be in your pj's since last night! 
• You'll still be bleeding after having your baby, Maternity pads are bulky but they are more than sufficient to soak up the blood, normal sanitary pads aren't as thick and aren't as absorbent for this much blood.
• You DON'T need branded products for the breast pads or maternity pads. Shop brand ones are brilliant, much cheaper!
• Try to have your 3 meals a day & a healthy snack! You need feeding so you can feed baby!
• It's very beneficial to leave the house even for an hour or less, it keeps you feeling refreshed and more able to cope with the crying once you've had a break out of the house.
• Do let your boyfriend/husband/partner be very invloved! It's better for everyone! Little things around the house, letting you have time to shower, changing baby while you sleep.. ect!

Hope you enjoyed this blog post! I've certainly have had a memorable 2 weeks so far! It's a whole other experience that people try to tell you about, but can never put into words.. I almost can't describe it either!
~Ellie xoxox